I nodded. ‘Yeah.’ ‘And every time this happens you feel the need to cut yourself?’ Dalton followed, trying to understand. I nodded, again. ‘Yeah.’ I glanced at Maranda and then back at him. ‘It seemed to be the only way to release the… the pressure. When I felt the pain, I was able to pull my mind away from the nightmare and focus on the pain. It doesn’t make any sense, but it was calming.’ ‘It makes perfect sense, Lance,’ Maranda told me. She looked at me for a moment and then looked at my friends. ‘I went through something similar last year,’ she explained. ‘I was alone through most of mine, until a friend busted me. Raven helped me to get past it. I know how hard it is and how addictive it is, Lance. I know it’s going to take some time, but we can help you, if you let us.’ ‘Raven, huh?’ Dalton said. ‘She’s cool like that.’ Something in his voice made me look at him. His eyes were staring at nothing and I could tell he was thinking about Raven. ‘When did this happen?’ I asked him.. But I could only force myself to ask two of them and they both knocked back $100. I was devastated. Not only did it look like I had to go to the dance but I had copped all this rejection as well. My final plan was to simply kill myself. I did some research and found that the most successful method appeared to be overdosing on prescription d**gs. I checked our medicine cabinet at home but all I found were aspirins and hemorrhoid cream. Eeww.I was miserable and then I found the answer. I was having lunch with the girls and Kelly and Maxx were arguing about whether guys preferred blow jobs or a fuck. Emma said “They’ll do anything for either one.” I had my solution. “They’d do ANYTHING”. Even take me to the dance.The only flaw with this was that not one boy had ever shown any interest in fucking me since Alun. I still had no tits and skinny legs and so on. But a blow job might be a different proposition. If they liked getting their cocks sucked so much then maybe it didn’t matter so.
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