You were flirting?’ ‘Trying to. Got interrupted.’ ‘So why not invite me yourself.’ ‘I…tried.’ ‘You mean you hovered outside my restaurant like I used to around my obsessions.’ ‘We’re two of a kind, Joe.’ ‘I hope so,’ I said and got a kiss for that. Food arriving slowed down conversation. We dug in and enjoyed. I managed to ask between bites, ‘So you had me at the party.’ ‘Monica,’ she only said. ‘Did she know?’ Jill shook her head. ‘Ruled by my little head again,’ I sighed. ‘She’s easy to look at, easy to desire, easy to take.’ ‘She’s just plain easy,’ Jill quipped sourly. ‘I had no chance.’ I nodded. ‘It took you too long to gather up your nerve. She grabbed on quick and held. You must have hated her.’ ‘That’s complicated,’ she said. ‘I suppose I did, but I hated myself more. Such a fucking coward. I can’t really hate her all that long. She’s too exuberant. She sweeps you up in her tailwind. We’re friends because she’s fun and she brings me fun and I guess I bring her down to earth. A vanilla courtship can look like burgers and a movie, like Cyrano or Romeo under the balcony, or like a guy in a cowboy hat tossing a girl into his pickup, right? I mean none of them are necessarily right or wrong in general, but can be way wrong or way right for an individual, you know? It all depends on the needs and likes of the people who are doing it. Domination and submission is just like that. It describes a wide variety of potential activities, but everyone presupposes the most dramatic. Sadly, a lot of people get mislead into some faulty notions about ‘how it’s done’, and so it goes badly. But how is that any different from any other sort of relationship? That’s why you can’t look at one couple practicing dominance and submission and say ‘you’ve seen it’, anymore than you can say you understand vanilla romance from watching one couple do it.’ Now she wasn’t getting it. She had ideas, I could tell, from those big, lucid, expressive blue eyes, but she wasn’t sure where I was.
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