After beating around the bush for a while, Abigail said, "My lawyer says I inherit a lot of money that I didn't know we had. My husband has been accepting large amounts of foreign deposits into a joint account that I forgot we had. No telling where he got the money, but it is apparently mine now. I need to go home and deal with burying him." She looked sad and anxious, but not displeased. I guess my job was done. The universe used me, once again, to get a woman through a crisis, and sent them on their way, at least partially healed.Abigail was able to catch a flight out of Charleston, South Carolina, and I continued up the Intercostal, alone – again.Being alone gave me time to think about Abigail's news. If her husband was some kind of conduit for Muslim terror, could he have been involved with the death of Abigail's father on behalf of them? And wouldn't it be a wicked bit of good fortune if Abigail came into a large sum of money, paid to her husband for participating in killing. The last few weeks had been a rollercoaster of emotions I was barelyprepared to process now, let alone in those moments then. My mindfluctuated so hard every day between loving my new clothes and wanting tokeep going and accept my feminized persona and be Lily with Erin all thetime, and hating what I had become, wanting it only to be over andregretting that I ever had to be chosen in the first place. I loved mynew clothes and I loved Erin, but I was ashamed to love them like I didand I was afraid of what others really thought of me. I remembereddressing up for our date in one of my favorite outfits of the wholeexperience. She said I didn't have to, but in that moment I wanted to, alot. I remembered my pure emotional breakdown that came in the lockerroom, but also the way she pulled the first tube of lipstick across mylips and I couldn't get enough of that feeling, or her. Erin was like anaddiction. It didn't matter whether I had wanted to stop or not, becauseI couldn't. But when I had.
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