I could tell you what was in most drawers and closets except granny’s bedroom dresser and closet because there were guns in there. The point is I never noticed these things until this week.Why do I bring this up? It’s part of the underlying process I’ve been going through. My illness has put me into a crash course. I’ve been sad the last few days. I don’t feel productive. I’ve been working about 10 hours a week. I did put in a full 8 yesterday. I hear people talking about their dreams and goals for the future and I can’t afford the pain of having any.When I wrote about being overwhelmed in the bank two chapters ago I didn’t mention that I was having full blown for lack of a better word dementia like symptoms. I knew why we were there but didn’t understand what was going on. I was arguing about what papers go into what envelope and other silly behaviour. At one point my wife laid her head down on the desk. I was an overgrown 5 year old. I knew what was going on and I couldn’t stop it.. "Later." Was he older?"Lize regarded me. "Don't press me about him, Ethan. I don't care to know anything about your previous love life. Please respect me on this." Fair enough." Jimmy was a mistake. A mistake I regret. Enough said." Understood. It's a dead topic, Lize." I looked into her eyes. "Okay?"She smiled. "Okay."I scanned her up and down. "You do look sensational. What about the socks? Did they come from the thrift store, too?" Oh, I had those. I wear them to work, with pants. Well -- do you like how I look in it?" You always look just beautiful, Lize." Do you want to know my inspiration?" What?" I asked.She beckoned me to her computer and brought up an image of two young women. One was dressed in a white, 1950's era nursing uniform, wearing a cap and with a stethoscope around her neck. Face down across her lap, the other wore a shot skirt, blouse and ankle socks. Her skit was lifted to expose her naked buttocks. The one in the nurse's costume was inserting a bulb syringe into.
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