‘I knew you’d always be my closest friend because you love me and I love you. But we both knew it could never be physical. We never needed to say it, we knew.’ I nodded slowly. ‘I’m so sorry.’ ‘You don’t need to be.’ She stood up. ‘Have another cigarette and come back when you’re ready, OK?’ She leaned down to look closely into my eyes and I nodded again. ‘Silly cow.’ I smiled a wan smile to myself as she walked away. I had never had a lover since University. I had always hoped, always half expected that Jess would claim me. I knew at the same time that she never would but nobody came close, nobody else mattered in that way. Oh, of course I had had people to share my bed, to fuck, but that’s all it was. They always disappointed, always fell short. Only Jess would do. I smoked another cigarette then, feeling extremely silly and embarrassed walked slowly back towards the hotel. Tippi was standing on the path, the sun behind her and through the soft white cotton of her long skirt her. Before too long, I bumped into Kathy and asked her where I might find Lynn. She told me that she was downstairs in the game room. I walked down the steps to what seemed like a basement, except that it was finished with wood paneling and had a pool table. I didn’t see Lynn at first. I walked around the persons playing pool and noticed that there were two small rooms off from the main game room. Lynn was indeed in one of these small rooms. She was sitting there on a love seat in the dark. I stood in the doorway and said hello. She stood up and put her arms around my neck and began to kiss me. These were deep kisses, French kisses. Her tongue was penetrating my mouth. I circled my lips around her tongue, allowing them to slide down the length it as she withdrew it. We broke our embrace and I sat down on the couch next to her. I had hardly taken a look at her.She was wearing a yellow and white flowered dress, pulled together at her narrow waist with a belt. She had on tan stockings and.
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