“Oh god, it hurts so much. And every time I look at you, it happens again, and, and…” Her voice broke with anguish. I froze for a moment, my own tears accompanying hers in their silent mourning. Then, slowly and carefully, I stepped behind her, wrapped my arms around her and rested my head on her shoulder. “It’s going to take time,” I whispered. “I don’t want it to take time! I… We don’t have time!” She tried to pull free, but her struggle was half-hearted and I hugged her closer. “We have all the time in the world. You have all the time in the world. I’m not going anywhere!” “You’re going to college, in little more than a month.” Her tears slowly stopped, but the trembling in her words spoke of loneliness. “I won’t go. Not without you!” She was silent for a long time. I could feel her muscles tense and relax in my embrace. “It’s your future! You can’t just stay here and ruin it because of me!” I snapped. That’s the only word I can find for it. Not the going-crazy kind of snapping,. "I think I'll head to bed. Why don't you and Josh watch some TV for awhile." I nodded and kicked my bare feet up on the couch. Josh had already propped his feet on a ottoman while he flipped through the channels.I watched Mrs. Anderson walk away and thought I would finally be able to talk to Josh about his mother's health. He looked over his shoulder toward the direction his mother had walked, then began to enter a channel into his remote."I usually have to wait until Mom leaves before I watch my program." He grinned at me. The TV came to rest on a bevy of beauties playing volleyball in the sand. "Man, that Hef's got it made!" He muttered under his breath. "That's what I like about this channel, all the beautiful women!" Your Mom won't let you watch the Playboy channel? Or, could it be that you don't want her to know?" I kidded him.His grin said it all, "What Mom doesn't know... won't hurt her." He sat the remote down and laughed. "Check out the legs on that honey!" I had to agree.
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