So to keep me busy, I volunteered to help a neighbor clean his garage while he and his family were out on vacation. My older brother also volunteered for most of the heavy lifting and asked me to sort old magazines and box them. The pile included your typical titles... "Woman's Day", "Better Homes and Gardens"...and the most common... "Good Housekeeping". At first you'd think these titles weren't risky in anyway whatsoever, but that day I discovered a very important feature about women.My brother was chatting with some girl who was walking by, so I took it upon myself to take a break and flip through a few of the magazines while sipping my lemonade. I flipped through one of the Good Housekeeping issues and to my surprise, I landed on a Noxzema face cream ad and (I k** you not) it featured a young woman standing, NAKED. Her arms were bent at the elbow, fingers locked together and hanging from the back of her neck. Her eyes were closed and her blonde hair was lightly rolled into. I don’t know why, but I chose to follow the north bank.Oh, shit, suddenly I saw in front of us a mass of crocodiles sunning themselves on the river bank. I had no choice but to turn right again to keep from running into that mass of walking death. A lot of those crocs were over 30 feet long, and I knew that they were nothing to mess with. Most of them completely ignored us as we came scooting by. A few did look at us with bored expressions, if one can say that about crocodiles.By this time, we were being chased by only two or three of the original dinosaurs, and Jane picked them off as they ran by the crocodiles. Now the reaction was completely different and the crocs went after the dead dinosaurs in an eating frenzy. I thought crocs only ate while they were in the water, but that was not true for many of these crocs. Dammit, I was glad to escape that area with a whole unperforated skin.As far as I was concerned, we had proved that the guns worked as advertised, and the Humvee still.
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