Of course, they'd probably worried about what I'd do when I got the paternity results and found out that Mikey wasn't my son. They were probably scared to death of my reaction when I found out that Mikey shared a few too many genes with his mother's family to be anything but the product of an incestuous affair.I have to admit, that had hit me right in the gut. I still wasn't sure how I felt about that ... I mean it wasn't Mikey's fault who his parents were, right? Suffer not the children and all that. I guess it was just too hard to let go of nearly four years with the little boy. Somewhere, on some deep level, I still had to admit that I loved the kid. That I missed him, even. Or maybe I just missed the idea that I had my own family. I couldn't be sure.It's what had finally decided things for me, though. It was the pebble too many; the fucking straw that had broken the camel's back. I was ranting and raving before, angry, upset, hating the world. Possibly, though, maybe even. When proper writers turn up, there isn’t half as much interest. It’s ridiculous.Sue went up to the bar to get another round in, and after another drink (or was it two?) I ended up letting Alan bring me home and then stay the night. After we’d fucked, I cuddled up against his shoulder while he stroked my arm.“What is it about this bondage stuff?” I wondered out loud.“What do you mean?”“I don’t know…it just sounds so controlling,” I mused. “I’m not sure I want to be chained up while some guy does weird things with feathers and stuff. I mean, what’s it all about?”“You mean you’ve never fancied it at all?” asked Alan.“No…well, not really,” I said.“Not even thought about it?” he went on, catching the note of uncertainty in my voice.“Well, I guess I’ve thought about why people do it,” I admitted. “But I’ve never really wanted to get tied up myself.”“Well, you don’t know until you’ve tried it,” he said.“Yes, well, I’ve never tried hanging upside down covered in shit, and I know I don’t.
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