I am not ‘Bitch’, I am Susan. It is worse if he wraps his arms around me and holds me down. That just makes me keep screaming, louder and longer. I try to scratch or hit or push him away. I kick and buck and twist. But Thomas is strong, almost as strong as Dad. But Dad doesn’t hold me like that unless I am breaking things or hurting myself. Thomas can be mean.This morning my head was exploding with voices. That happens a lot. I don’t remember now what the voices were saying. It wouldn’t have mattered. I just couldn’t make them stop. I screamed to cover them up. I put my head down like a bull and charged. The top of my head crashed into the wall of my bedroom. The wall crumbled where I crashed into it. There was a top-of-my-head shaped hole on my side of the wall. If I’d run faster and harder I would have gone through the wall. Nothing could stop me. But my head hurt.Dad stopped me before I could try again. So I just screamed and screamed. My brother was talking too, maybe he was. I know because my niece got married the next Saturday so I went to a funeral and a wedding in the same week.’ Marilyn, the third woman at the booth also verified Hank’s marital status and Carol, far from having a dilemma, realized she had a golden opportunity to do what she had been hoping for. That afternoon, she placed her hand on Hank’s and smiled at him while she served his coffee. Then she looked him in the eye and said she would love to go out to dinner with him. They had a great time together on Friday. Carol learned that Hank’s last name was Wright, of all things, and that he was an accountant, earning good money at Dalton’s. His wife had been unable to have children and had died of cancer after only a few years of marriage and Hank had undergone a one year period of mourning for her, which included continuing to wear his wedding ring. He learned some things about Carol too, but she thought it prudent to keep her long range goals to herself, at least until she saw how.
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