. why would you...” He didn’t finish.Bernadette looked up at the ceiling, and then at him. Her eyes were shiny with tears.“I don’t know!“ she said, almost sobbing. “It just ... happened. We had that class, and Hildy and I were curious. There were things going on at home too ... things I can’t talk about ... but something just happened and all of a sudden we were doing things, and I was so horny and it was so much fun and if felt so good...”He looked at her steadily.“Haven’t you ever done anything like that?” she asked, hoping he would have his own experiences that would help him understand how she had felt.“I don’t have a sister,” he said, as he had said it to Nathan.“No! With some other girl!” she moaned. “Haven’t you felt horny with a girl?”“Not like that,” said Curtis Lee. “I’ve never even seen a girl naked. Except for...” he didn’t finish.Bernadette blushed.“If I’d have known I wouldn’t have looked,” he said. He’d wished he hadn’t looked each time he had stroked his long, hard. There was a sneakiness about her own satisfaction, this self-betrayal that filled her with disgust and remorse, making her feel crawly and dirty. He hadn't just used her. He had hauled her back to some primitive world - drawn out her desire and made her surrender herself completely to him. Now that it was over, she was full of guilt. Her ecstasy seemed short compared to the anguish of the torment that now haunted her. Tomorrow she would have to be ready for her rapist, or was he now her lover - she didn't know anymore.The following morning she woke with a brief start. Startled for two reasons, one that she had slept at all and two because there as a huge hand massaging her breast. She felt his hardness pressing against her buttocks and knew that her first rape of the day had already commenced. During the night, while her subconscious mind was active, a calmness had settled over her as unconscious decisions had been made and accepted. In order to survive she needed his protection and.
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