Don't you realize what this is doing to me? What you and others have said about me? What all this really means? I have one real close friend and I will lose her, I know it! The Nelsons are the only other family that I can rely on for help and understanding. What will they think of me? No matter what you promise me, this will get out! People will find out what I really am and that is a boy. The reasons I might do this will not matter! I am considered a geek and mama's boy now! You see? The reasons don't matter to anyone else but us."I wiped away some of the tears that were still falling from my eyes and down my cheeks. I looked at each one of them in the eyes deeply. I tried to read what they thought and felt. I noticed all three had tears as well. THEY KNEW what was being asked of me! But, did they truly understand the very high price I was going to have to pay? I didn't think so, because I didn't even really know! I had to really understand this and I hoped they had the answers.I. "I have to get it done before I can go out."That brought a ghost of a smile to his lips. "It's good to see she's instilled that in you."I queued up what I'd just had. "Here's what I'm looking at." I played it, stopping from me to time to explain something I'd noticed.That got him interested. He nodded from time to time as I explained. I showed him what we used to do, and how "better" it was with multiple cameras. The operators were all girls, and they'd "cut their teeth" shooting porn, but I didn't mention that."I was curious what you were doing," he finally said. "There was a report that students were using our studios to make, er, illicit films." You can come audit my work any time," I said. That was a challenge that I thought he'd take, but I had an "ace in the hole". The people who put out "Clubhouse" had about six weeks backlog of episodes, so we could lose a little editing time. I'd probably have to find another way to edit the footage, but I was pretty sure it wouldn't be.
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