You lay on your back on the grass and unbutton your skirt slowly to reveal your knickers, bra, stocking and suspenders, whilst i stand there and watch, you take of your bra and play with your tits and nipples making them nice and hard and you then run your hand down over your stomach slowly heading towards to panties you play with the outside of then and slowly slip your fingers in side them gently caressing your pussy.you slowly lift your bum of the grass and slip your panties down and take them off you then beckon me over and give the panties tell me to smell then and keep them. your start then stroking your pussy and spreading your pussy lips and you insert a finger in and then another and your beckon me over again and ask me to lick your juices of your fingers, then you get onto your hands and knees and put 1 hand up your front and stick 2 fingers in your pussy and then you put you other hand over your bum and insert a fingers in your arse and fuck both holes and i stand there. After drinking all night and coming to the realization that I would give up many of the things that I have simply to fall hard for a woman, it would be really nice to just fall down and pass out. I get the sneaking feeling that it’s not going to happen. My hands still smell like vomit and as I rub my face, washing it with dry skin, the stench of them makes me want to rinse them in bile again. I don’t, because I’m not that drunk, anymore. Sometimes I wonder if I put myself in positions that would disgust me, were I sober, on purpose. Everything has the hazy, undefined quality of a nightmare. You know what you need, what you have to do, but you just can’t do it. I want to cry. God, I just want to sleep in a woman’s arms that I love, again. Falling in love and watching her walk out of the restaurant, pass me in her car, walk away, run down the street, is killing me. No one would believe that a man who can call someone a ‘fucking cunt,’ with a totally straight face is concerned with.
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