The jealousy was more about fear of scarcity – fear of losing the relationship, and being lonely. Because generally we weren’t both in a second relationship at the same time, it just didn’t go that way. So one of us always could potentially worry about being alone.’ ‘And it’s hard to remember that part of your life, and those feelings?’ I asked, for clarification, trying to keep loose strings tied. ‘Yeah, right. Because I barely remember what jealousy felt like. Or fear of scarcity. Or even, now, the desire to be in that kind of day-in, day-out relationship with one other person. Now it feels like it’s not just jealousy that’s rooted in fear of scarcity, but the basic desire to be in a relationship like that at all. I mean it may not be realistic for most people, but, the various pros and cons notwithstanding, I’ve certainly never been so happy as I am now.’ He looked at me to make sure I was following him before expanding on that point. ‘I have friends who I don’t have sex with.. We exchanged names, his was Rod. We rode on to his apartment which was nearby. We entered a lower level private garage and parked. He escorted me upstairs and opened the front door for me. To my surprise inside the door, lying on the floor in front of a big picture window, were two naked men, sucking each other’s cocks by the light of a full moon. It was an incredibly erotic sight watching them pleasure each other. Slowing sucking each other cock, releasing them and staring at the beauty of their hard cocks glistening with saliva in the moonlight. I had never sucked another man’s cock but had dreamed about it and masturbated as I did so. I stopped to enjoy this beautiful sight, when Rod nudged me. This way to the bathroom. As I showered I wanted to stroke my hardening cock thinking of the men in the nearby room, but did not as I wanted to save myself for what might happen with Rod. I finished showering and slipped on my shorts to cover my stiff dick. I walked into the adjoining.
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