.. I would have gotten out today."Short onesHow many women does it take to change a light bulb?None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch.What's the fastest way to a man's heart?Through his chest with a sharp knife.Why are men and parking spaces alike?Because all the good ones are taken and the only ones left are disabled.Why do men want to marry virgins?They can't stand criticism.Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good looking?Because those men already have boyfriends.What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.What do you call a smart blonde?A golden retriever.Why does the bride always wear white?Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator.What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?"Are you sure. " Same here! You're really going to make me part of the plumbing when we get to your place?" I said I would. I'll start by putting you in my toilet slave chair in my spare bedroom." But..." she started to say."I told you it'll take a few weeks to build the permanent installation in the basement like we planned. We're talking major construction here and a lot of work and money. I didn't want to start tearing my house up and building anything until you got here and I knew you were serious about this." I guess," she said."But once that's done, it'll be permanent--just like in 'THE REPLACEMENT'. So are you hungry? Would you like to eat before we go home?" Sure, where do you want to take me?" Well," he paused. "Tumulty's Pub has the best burgers you'll find anywhere in the world! It's just down George Street a few blocks from here. Or you can't beat Bud's Hut for T-bone steak over in Rahway. And East Star Buffet on Main Street in Somerville has a huge selection of Chinese and Mongolian.
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