I can remember lying back in my chair, and watching him propel himself through the water. Will had been a prominent figure in my dreams from that point on. This spring, prior to my graduation ball, my parents had invited Will and his parents over to celebrate. I had my long blond hair piled on top of my head, with a few wisps loose to catch the breeze. The style flattered my choice of emerald blue strapless gown. If it hadn’t been for my breasts, a perky 36c, gravity would have pulled the bodice down to my waist. The tightness of the material made it impossible to wear a bra, I was thankful that I was firm and young. My date had sent my corsage ahead of time, so that I could have it for pictures, but I was having a difficult time trying to pin it onto my dress. My parents and Will’s parents were discussing universities in the kitchen when Will found me in the living room. I was still trying to pin the corsage on the bodice of my tight dress. Will walked up to me, taking the corsage.. Her motherly hands putting my imaginary hair behind my ear. ‘We just have to get through Christmas, hey?’ Her smile was more a grimace. ‘And then spring.’ She arched a hopeful eyebrow. I took her hand into my own. ‘Yes, Mom. I am sorry I ruined the holiday.’ ‘Nonsense. The holiday is about family. Friends. L-‘ she stopped herself. My entire family knew my heartache and I felt bad when she looked back at me with apologetic eyes. ‘No, your right,’ I encouraged her. ‘That is exactly what the Christmas is. It is the expression of love.’ My mom smiled, her eyes hopeful again. I spent Christmas Eve moving from nurse to doctor to specialist. I was passed around like a hot potato. Each moved about my body which was less and less my own and then tossing me to the next, not willing to let my death happen on their watch. Death. I rarely let the word come into my mind. I had adopted other phrases such as passing on, sleeping. My brother would let one phrase pass his lips angrily as he.
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