I answered it and discovered that it was Ray on the other end. His hoarse voice gave testimony to his condition."How were the movies?" he asked."They were great," I lied. "You sound like shit." I feel like shit. I just called to say you better stay away if you don't want it," he commented before hanging up. I headed to the bathroom and commenced to clean up when the phone rang again, this time it was Valerie."Hey, Ladykiller," she purred into the phone."Hey yourself," I responded."You got plans for tomorrow?" she asked."None. Why?" I responded."You up for some company?"Valerie questioned in a voice like silk.My heart began to beat faster as she spoke."What time?" was all I could respond."Now, both your parents work on Monday? What time are they gone?" she continued."They leave before eight," I informed her."Good, Then I will see you around nine. Make sure the garage is open," she responded before the line went dead.I was out of bed and redressed in the blink of an eye. I then began. 2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust, and doesn't lie to you.4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed, and likes to be with you.5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other or you could end up dead like me.This one is Compliments of John ACake or BedA husband Is at home watching a football game when his wife Interrupts, honey, could you fix the Light in the hallway? It's been flickering for weeks now.He Looks at her and says angrily, fix the lights now? does It Look Like I have "ge" stamped on my forehead? I don't think so.Fine, then the wife asks, well then, could you fix the fridge door? It won't close Right to which he Replied, fix the fridge door? does It look Like I have "westinghouse" stamped on my forehead? I don't think soFine, she says then you could at Least fix the steps to the front door? they are about to break I'm Not a carpenter and I don't want to fix.
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