"She smiled. "So, anyway, we both have goals, and we're both doing what we need to do to get there. I don't want to change a bit of that, and I'm sure you don't either." I nodded. "Right. But I guess what I've learned this week is I want more. I want to have fun. I'm in love. I want to enjoy being in love. I want to enjoy sex. I want to try anything and everything as long as it doesn't really freak me out-assuming, of course, that it doesn't freak you out either, this is a two-way street. But I don't want to be repressed any more." I'm a good person. I guess, what I'm finally understanding, is that being a good person and having a wild and fulfilling sex life are not mutually exclusive. I'm also understanding that I can give myself to someone else and not lose myself. As long as I'm giving myself to the right person, that is," she smiled at me. "I woke up in your arms this morning, and I realized something. I'm happy. Really, really happy. I felt loved. I felt warm and safe. I felt. And so, every Wednesday Gregory with the big black hat would come, and he’d had some problems. He didn’t wear his black hat on those days, and he came in bent and tired, and he had a job too, a good one, during the week at a factory, but the kids ate a lot, and his wife had a good job too, but there were bills to pay, and maybe could his momma, Bernice spare twenty dollars from her purse for the week? To get some bread for the grandchildren? And he bowed and muttered and Bernice just found an extra twenty and nodded and he was leaving her room as quickly as he came. And he’d always stop, this god of the bars and the legend of the hills, on his way out the smacked up screen door, and my momma in the kitchen and my daddy in the chair, and look at me and nod and smile and whiskey hiss on his deep voice. And his eyes would twinkle in recognition as he nodded to me, and then I’d be scared, like I did something very wrong and everyone knew it but still he was a god and he was speaking.
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