Medicare pays $43 of it.This one is compliments of JerryYou Know You Are In A Redneck Church If... ... people ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5,000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em. ... when the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," five guys and two women stand up. ... opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday. ... A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of." ... The congregation of 500 members only has seven last names in the church directory. ... people think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy. ... the baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized washtub. ... the collection plates are hubcaps from a '56 Chevy. ... instead of bells, you are called to service by a duck call. ... the minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks. ... the communion wine is Boone's. Two or three times each year they had seen him play on T.V. Even her asshole husband was into that.Of course, he couldn't be talked into making this trip, even though Marsha was a part of of the ceremony.As the sun was getting ready to pop above the horizon and burn off the morning mist, Marsha was dreamily recalling the amazing events of last evening. She hadn't even gotten back to this magnificant 5th floor rented condo until 2:30 or so. Sleep was not on her mind then, or now.After a few run-throughs of the ceremony, dinner was on the agenda. There she got re-acquainted with several of Donnie's friends whom she met last year at the graduation party. She also met a few new guys, all of them looked to be football teammates of Donnie's, and only one year removed from being in fabulous condition. All were broad shouldered and obviously buff. Some were gorgeous cute, some lacked model's handsome faces, but all were young, virile and probably expecting to get some action on this.
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