Alan sees me as his best friend and his love and he just encourages me to use the talents and abilities I have. And I watch him and talk to him about how he works and what he thinks and I want to be like that.Right now I want to get him home and showered and shaved and naked.Oh yeah. Sex. Actually, with me and my Alan, it's NOT just sex. It's part of our life, our connection on so many levels, and I remember that first night when I crawled in HIS bed, it was what I wanted, but it was not some animal lust, because if THAT was what I wanted, I could've had it with any of a number of guys, starting with Jeff Jamison the night I went to Susan's for the first time.It just didn't seem right, like something I wanted to ever do, with any guy, not until I met Alan. And when I finally understood that I LOVED Alan, then it was something we were MADE to do.I mean, I KNEW about sex. Mom wasn't particularly careful about who she did or where she did 'im, and I have ears, so I heard HER. And I. And my clitoris, which goes even more wild now in my newly upgraded mind than ever before — so much so that I've dedicated one of my multiple processors just to meeting its demands — still waits patiently until I allow my lover admission to that intimate part of myself. Overall my sexual programming allows me a lot of leeway on how I wish to use it, as long as it gets exercised regularly.Are males all like this? Is the shortest route to gratification always uppermost in their mind? Is their idle loop one of always questioning where I can get some next?Or have I become like Synthia, whose always erect nipples, always sensitive feet, and always responsive vulva, issue commands that take over her mind completely the moment another person touches them? So much so that her first independent action after her escape was to protect them from even accidental contact when she needed to hold on to being herself otherwise. Without such protections someone could have just taken her hand and led.
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