“I’ll see you outside – right now I gotta go get this damn tail outta my ass before my prostate replaces my Adam’s apple.” I was laughing and shaking my head as he left, and Alli just looked at me, waiting for me to fill her in, which I eventually did. “The tail is actually a whip or lash or something, and the handle is apparently a good-sized glass dildo, which is shoved up his ass – all of which, just so we’re clear, is information I never wanted or requested, but which was passed along to me by the person that I suspect installed it for him.” She started giggling. “Really? Oh, that’s just hilarious; I can’t believe he ran around with that shoved up his butt all night!” “Yeah, well, ‘hilarious’ is not the word I used when she told me about it.” As soon as the words left my mouth I knew a certain question would follow. I was right. “And just who might this ‘she’ have been?” “Diamond – whose name is actually Karen, by the way – when I bumped into her outside. Oh, and we were right. "Having said that, it's time to start giving you the truth behind all those mysterious messages you've no doubt been comparing. Let's start with who, or more importantly what, I am. I am a computer simulation of the Original Steve's mind and memories."After the aliens recovered the memory sets from the various bodies they were rebuilding, they started 'playing them back' so that they could determine what kind of environment they needed to build to keep humanity happy. Unfortunately for them, the only 'playback' method they had involved simulating the brains the memories were contained in, which caused the simulated brains to 'experience' sensory deprivation trauma, along with random temporary obsessions with various subjects as the aliens manipulated the simulated brains to invoke the memories they wanted to 'read.' This tended to degrade the alien's ability to extract information from each set of memories, since the simulated minds rapidly entered a very accurately simulated.
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