Young and eager to drive as soon as possible I took the chance and told my mother to contact her friend and make up and appointment. I knew Monika for a few years, she was a frequent visitor at our place, and each and every time she visited, she told my mom that she had found the perfect guy, and that the last one was just not right for her. She always had these short term "relationships" going on. A few days after my mom called her, it was saturday, she told me that I could step by Monikas place any time today. So I went to the bus stop and drove to her place. Monika lived in rather nice part of our city and had quite the nice house. I stepped towards the door and rang the bell. It took her a few moments to open the door, and I was afraid that she would not be at home, but before I could finish my thought, the door opened. And there she was, Monika, a really well dressed mature lady who took real good care of her self. She was in her 50s when we met that day, and one could call her. Cancer. Uterine cancer, which, by the time it was diagnosed, had metastased. The doctors had tried heroically to save her, and did extend her life by a year or so, but that was all. She hardly had time to say goodbye.I barely made it through the funeral. My oldest daughter, herself distraught from the loss of her mother, had to care for me like a baby. I couldn't think, could barely breathe, and didn't want to. The kids settled Claire's affairs; I wasn't capable. Eventually though I had to try and have some sort of life, even if it was without her. That's how I ended up as a troll.Yes, a troll. You know the kind. Lives under a bridge. Grumpy. Doesn't want company. A long time ago, I read a series of essays called Magic Harbor1, by a fellow named Don Berry. In one of the essays, he described himself as a troll. I find myself in a very similar physical and emotional situation. I live on my boat, not under a bridge - that doesn't work well with a real mast - and without the light in my.
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