‘Did you notice her tan? That’s a fake-bake tan if I ever saw one. And what about her hair? Who does highlights without getting lowlights, too?’ ‘I’m pretty sure Robbie didn’t notice that stuff.’ Ted sure hadn’t. ‘She’s probably a skanky whore.’ ‘Yeah, the skanky-est.’ ‘Want to know the ironic part? Before Robbie left on his trip, I decided I would stay faithful to him the entire time.’ ‘Is staying faithful an issue for you?’ he asked, thinking through the years he had known her. As near as he could remember, Avril only had one boyfriend at a time. Except when Ted had first met her. Avril hadn’t had a boyfriend when she had transferred into his school district as a skinny eighth-grader with braces, green hair, a cast on her left arm, and not a friend in the world. She had flopped into the only empty seat on the school bus, sitting next to a geeky kid everyone ignored before hanging her head so her green hair covered her face. Ted would have kept to himself, except Avril had. All we need is yours to confirm it."He sputtered. There wasn't much point in denying it so he waited for me to continue."I didn't bring an invitation to his birthday party for you and your wife, but I can get you one if you'd like. No?"He didn't look well."What do you want?" First, an admission that you are his biological father, which nobody else will see if you agree to and follow the other terms."He waited for the other terms."Second, notwithstanding that, you will never take any legal action to establish that paternity, seek visitation or custody or any say whatsoever in his life."He smirked."I take it that is not a problem."No response."Finally, you will make support payments to me, that will help you explain it away, but you won't deduct them. Support payments are taxable."He was scowling."They will be calculated based on the support schedule in the Rules of Civil Procedure. They will continue until the latter of graduation from high school or Harry reaching eighteen."He.
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