The instructions told him that a sure sign that it had worked would be to ask the woman for a simple favor, and she would do it without hesitation before asking: “Is there anything else?” He would then know that she was his to command until he broke “the spell” as he called it in his own mind.“Honey, can you come here for a second?” he called from the bathroom. He had just taken a shower, feeling the need after being confined to his office in the basement for all that time. She had called back that she would be there in a minute, and while he was waiting and drying off, he started to grow quite a boner thinking of the things he might command her to do to him. He wrapped the towel around himself to hide it as she joined him.He touched her cheek while he did “The Routine” on her, after which she just looked at him, looking like a big question mark. Damn, he thought. Had it worked? The look on her really made him unsure. He really thought he had done it just right, but was this the way. But it dawned on me that I would never bea mother, could never nurse a baby, and that there was nothing I wantedmore desperately in the world.One evening, while I was brushing Mommy's hair, I saw her reflection inthe mirror, stroking her swollen tummy. Her eyes were closed and shelooked so sublimely happy. I was so jealous that I couldn't hold it in- the tears just gushed from my eyes.She embraced me and said, "Precious girl, what's the matter??"Oh Mommy, I want so much to have my own babies, to nurse them with myown breasts, to be a complete woman just like you. But it isimpossible." Remember, dear, not all women can have babies. Being a woman is amatter of heart and mind more than body. You are a darling girl and cangrow into a lovely, happy woman if you want to."I was inconsolable. "But I want to be a mommy, too." I was blubbing nowand couldn't stop. Mommy ran her fingers through my curls. She caressedme and rocked me, but nothing could lessen my pain. We sat together forsome time.
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