It had been hard to get over the sting. A couple years after Karen graduated, her Mom saw Joan at a party and Karen’s crush on Tommy was all Joan talked about, much to her Mom’s annoyance. Three months later Karen’s Mom succumbed to lung cancer. ‘Oh. Hello Joan. I didn’t recognize you. How are you doing?’ ‘David and I are taking it day by day. This time of year is hard. Tommy was our Valentine’s Day baby. We always considered his birthday to be a more important occasion. I told your Dad that I found those ‘Angel of Love’ poems you wrote Tommy when we were going through his room. It was strange that he kept them all these years. One even had a picture of him with wings.’ Karen drew in another breath. She had found out about Tommy’s death a year after the accident. He had been on his way home when a truck merged into his lane at too high a speed, pushing Tommy forward and into the median. He had died from his injuries on what had been Karen’s wedding anniversary. Dad had forwarded. But the video bug has bitten me. Creating it made me feel closer to you, so I know I shall be repeating the act at some point. You're certainly in for some treats. Hooking up the camera to the laptop I download the video, compress it and attach it to an email, which takes an age over the shitty free Wi-Fi. For one heart-stopping moment when I start typing your name into the recipient box, the top result is 'Mum'. Jesus, that'd be difficult to explain, and the thought of the video falling into the wrong hands casts doubt on my actions, albeit momentarily. No, the risk is worth it. You're worth it. With heart hammering I triple-check your email address, type “Miss you this much, xoxo” and hit Send, watching the animation spin as the file zips across the Internet. No backing out. A pang of excitement knots my belly at the thought of your reaction. Maybe in just a few minutes, you'll see it and feel the need to free your heavenly cock, all because of me. I squirm. Wish I could package up.
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