If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal.9. I don't approve of political jokes, I've seen too many of them get elected.10. There are two sides to every divorce, his and the shithead bitch's - opps I mean witch's.11. I love being married, it's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.12. I am a nobody and nobody is perfect, therefore, I am perfect.13. Every day I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.14. How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America???15. Having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool.16. Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked.17. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.18. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words, "Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been."19. A good friend will come and bail you out of jail, a true friend. He ran the bikini through a rinse cycle in the store laundry, then I put it on from the washer. He gifted me with a shoulder beach bag for my clothes.I was intrigued by Don, the salesman, because he is so screaming gay that it almost hurts my eyes and ears. Bright, swishy, direct, no filters in his opinion of which suit to buy and why that one.Been meaning to grow an A cup breast when it looked like that might still be possible. Lately, I had given up and even looked up the possibility of joining a nunnery nearby.I eventually decided I would save money for breast implant surgery. I, of course, also started looking at pictures and blogs, advertisements for surgeons, checked porn sights to see what size implant acted what way under sexual situations.When I realized I did not know how they felt to handle, I made an appointment with a women's spa to have a massage and wax.Inside the massage room, I had the two employees relax and tell me the differences between implant tits and natural.
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