" I... I'm not ready." Yes, Sam, you are, particularly with your husband there to support you." Is this really necessary?" I believe so. We might be able to put this off, but facing a tombstone or urn full of ashes just won't have the same impact." Sam was hesitant, contemplating her next move. Finally, the doctor said, "Sam, it would take some juggling, but if you need extra help, I could go with you to the funeral."Sam made a decision and said, "No, that won't be necessary. If I'm going to do this, then it should just be me and James." But you will do it?"Samantha gave her a weak smile. "I always did look good in black."************NEXT SATURDAY, ON THE FLIGHT "HOME"...Sam stared out the window, James in the seat beside her. They held hands as they flew over the countryside in Elaine's private jet. Finally, James said, "Penny for your thoughts." Just reminiscing about the past." Understandable. Remembering good or bad?" A little of both, I think. Good times with mom and my sisters.. “Then my question to you is - why did you shoot your wife and not her lover?” asked the prosecutor. “It seemed easier” replied the defendant “than shooting a different man every day!”My wife came back from work yesterday and yelled at me “All my friends’ husbands have bought an original pink and brown Juicy handbag!” I replied with a wink “Okay love, but tonight you’ll have to provide some pink and brown for me”. I was astonished when she nodded in agreement. I had always dreamt of this moment and it was finally here and, without fail, I went upstairs that night, and was not disappointed. It was just as good as I had ever imagined. My very own snooker table!I’ve organized a charity night in aid of people who can’t reach orgasm, but don’t worry if you can’t come.Vodka and ice will ruin your kidneys. Rum and ice will ruin your liver. Whiskey and ice will ruin your heart. Gin and ice will ruin your brain. Pepsi and ice will ruin your teeth. There you have it ICE is fucking lethal, lay.
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