Now in my mid-20s, I've started seeing myself as genderfluid. I had comeout to a close friend, telling her all my struggles, how I felt, and whenshe presented the word 'genderfluid' I pretty much latched onto it. I'dlove to be a girl, but I don't always mind being a boy. I like bits ofboth, but if I was given the choice, I'd be a girl.I often fantasise about various things happening to me, a magicalovernight change into a woman, or something like waking up one day andbeing the only person on earth, leaving me free to wear and do whatever Iwanted.All this has led to me being quite severely depressed, especially in myteens. More recently I've suffered from low moods, low confidence.Thoughts of suicide have always been there, not constant, but they wouldcrop up whenever I was at my lowest. These times are when I most want tobe a girl, believing that becoming one will be the cure-all for my life.This thing has always held me back in my life. I've always felt that if Ibecame a girl all my. "Maybe if I take it off I'll warm up." Now Juana had the shirt completely unbuttoned. She started to strip it off, but then remembered that she had to unbutton the cuffs, and as she fiddled with the buttons, she could feel the stares of her coworkers on her nearly bare upper body. Finally she unbuttoned the cuffs, and with a flourish, she pulled the shirt off, baring her breasts to everybody in the restaurant. "I'll see you guys later," she said with a smile. Turning, she walked out the door, passing a couple of high school age k**s. With another smile, she walked by them fighting the urge to cover herself. She hurried to the limo, feeling her breasts bounce and knowing that everybody was still watching her. Kyle opened the door for her, and with a big smile he told her, "Very nice, Juana. I was beginning to doubt that you would do it. As she stepped into the limo, she instinctively covered her breasts with the shirt. "I don't believe that I did that." She then started to giggle,.
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