But we still didn’t get lucky in the child stakes. Still these things can take time. Then one afternoon I came home from work and Sheila wasn’t home yet. She was always home before me. I started getting dinner ready – well, I tried – but I’m not much cop at the old cooking lark. After wandering around the kitchen like a lost sheep for half an hour or so, I resorted to the old stand by and called the local Chinese to have a take away delivered. By seven o’clock the Chinese had arrived but there was still no sign of Sheila. I’ve got to say by now I was getting very worried. After all you read some strange stories in the newspapers nowadays. I called her office but the security guard said they had all left hours ago. I started calling her friends from work. Luckily we had one of those personal phone books by the phone and Sheila had written everybody’s number in it. I couldn’t get an answer from any of her work mates. So from that I assumed she must have stopped for a drink with them. ’ If you’re me you’ll send Holly a Message that tells her that she’s ‘not the only one’ and she’ll tell you ‘you’re a great guy.’ You’ll smile all smug and proud of yourself at the sprung trap.You’ll do all of this, and you’ll know that you’re stalking Holly, and you’ll keep doing it anyways. You’ll crack another beer and push yourself a little deeper between your pillows and send Holly a message asking her if she ‘wants to have a drink together’. She’ll say no and you’ll quickly assure her you didn’t mean in person, and you’ll Laugh Out Loud and you’ll make a joke about going for a drink together over the internet and she’ll Laugh Her Fucking Ass Off and tell you again that you’re a great guy and that she’s pouring a glass of wine.This me that I was online? Holly’s Me? He didn’t like wine. She already knew that and so it was easy for her to poke fun at me for not appreciating the finer things and so it was easy for me to mention that I just needed the right teacher. Me? The real me?.
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