***The end of school was drawing near, and my family once again planned to spend the entire summer at camp. Dad had bid his lines so that he could cram all of his trips together, but when he did have to fly he would be gone for a couple of weeks at a time. We couldn’t leave immediately after school ended, since Dad had to fly a trip to Houston, so we decided to leave a few days after my birthday.I tried to explain to Amy that I’d be gone for the entire summer, and that we probably couldn’t talk on the phone. She didn’t take it very well. I couldn’t very well tell her where we were really going, so I gave her the standard story about visiting our “Aunt Susan” in South Carolina, who had a big lake and lots of property.I told Amy that it would even be hard for me to get mail over the summer, since we only checked the mail every couple of days. That was a little white lie; Susan checked the large camp mailbox, which was out by the main road, every day. In truth, I didn’t know if I’d be. I DON’T GO FIRST.” Dick soon realised the alien spoke not only completely in caps, but largely only in Too $hort lyrics. Suddenly it all made sense – Too $hort had to be an alien. Only someone who had observed earth culture from the outside, but never lived it, could have composed songs and rhymes so terrible and yet still thought they had any merit whatsoever. The alien was Too $hort.He might've been called Too $hort, but his dick was jolly long. "Long as a log," thought Dick, as logs of shit were removed from his anus during the continued pounding. POUND. POUND... And then it was over, seemingly, before it even began. Dick was astonished! By golly, he was up early the next morning fresh as the first steaming turd on a cold day. He bounded around the office, spilling coffee from his mug, but not giving one fuck who he spilled it on. One particularly heated moment he managed to drench an Irishman with the contents of his mug, and was yelled at to "FUCK OFF." Fists were raised, but at.
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