It made no difference. Five minutes later, I was starting to soften. Not willing to wait, I pulled out and wanked as fast as I could until I came on her belly. Usually, she’d be okay with that. She understands when there are times I really need to blow. She’d seen my soft dick cum in her hand before we’d even got started in the past, to which she often just giggled.But she wasn’t giggling today. She was quiet, immediately getting up and going to clean herself in the bathroom. No tasting my cum on her finger or asking me to lick it off her. She was disinterested, despondent even. I was still stretched out in the bed when she got out of the shower. She had always admired my 6ft 2 muscular frame. Not so much my five inches which had now shrivelled down to one. She had told me she’d like me to shave it, so it would appear bigger, but I feared the reaction of my football team-mates in the shower. Today, she didn’t go there, nor did she get back into bed. “Let's go for a drive”.We had been. ’ ‘By how much?’ ‘Well, at this point we can’t quite be sure. With drugs, we can make it so that you won’t black out if the seizures persist, make the pain tolerable, and maybe take away the edge of the depression so that you won’t become suicidal.’ ‘It’s too late for that.’ ‘So it won’t kill me, but it will fill me with excruciating pain and make me incapable of happiness?’ ‘Yes,’ Dr. Turner said mournfully. Not wanting to bother staying in the hospital, I asked to be discharged. Before leaving, we stopped off at the hospital pharmacy to pick up my meds. I was holding my hands out in the cold October air as we drove, hoping that the raw chill might ease the dull throbbing in my fingers. The pain pills were slowly kicking in, making it so that the sting was bearable, but already, the word ‘bearable’ had gained a whole new meaning for me. The drive home was silent, for my parents were trying to keep back tears, but I was calm. That’s the one good thing about being suicidal: the.
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