Gentlemen do not grope young girls!"You're not getting sweet on Stephone, are you?" I asked, struggling to keep a smile on my face."And just what are you suggesting?" Penny demanded."Nothing. I wouldn't like you to get too close to him, though. You are my wife." What do you think, we're going to have it off in the gym or something whilst you're at work?" Penny said with a slightly sharp tone to her voice.Whoops, this little conversation definitely wasn't going the way that I had intended. Unfortunately Penny thought I was accusing her of something! Not clever! I thought I'd better poor some soothing oil a bit quickly."Don't be silly, Penny. I would never think that! Christ, you're old enough to be Stephone's mother!"Now that was one hell of a big mistake and I know it now. But I was shooting from the hip at the time. That statement turned out to be just as bad as waving a red rag in front of a bull. But I had said it and I couldn't take it back."Humph, so you think I'm an old frump,. "Nationality?" asks the immigration officer."German," she replies."Occupation?" No, just here for a few days."I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night.Or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.I woke up this morning at 8 and could sense something was wrong.I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked. I didn't know what to do.Then I remembered "the local cafe serves breakfast until 11."Got caught having a pee in the local swimming pool today.The lifeguard shouted at me so loud I nearly fell in.I woke to go to the toilet in the middle of the night and noticed a burglar sneaking through next door's garden.Suddenly my neighbour came from nowhere and smacked him over the head with a shovel killing him instantly.He then began to dig a grave with the shovel.Astonished, I got back into bed.My wife said, "Darling, you're shaking, what is it?" You'll never believe what I've just seen!" I said, "That tosser next door has still got.
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