He wasn’t afraid of the dead. It’s the living you had to watch out for.One grave was different from the others. Carved on the tomb was the likeness of a sleeping girl, crafted in such detail that it almost looked like sleeping flesh rather than dead stone. Someone spent a lot of money on this monument, and that boded well for what he might find beneath it. The Austrian planted his spade in the ground.It was dark work, moiling in the depths of a grave, turning over shovels of dirt to unhouse something meant to lie eternally. Once uncovered, he threw his arms around the coffin like a lover and pulled it free. He held a rag to his face and prepared for the sight (and smell) of the body inside as he cracked the lid open. The moon's shining eye peered over his shoulder, and when the lid came off he gasped: The girl in the coffin was alive! She looked alive, anyway. Her hair was soft gold, and her cheeks were carnations, and her lips coral, and her marble skin was whole and uncorrupted. It. ? she said in an undertone.?W?What!?? stammered Eric. ?Ha-Ha? he laughed in an embarrassed way. ?That’s just unfair? she said at his silence, ?I didn’t know you were a????alright, alright? he interrupted worried she might talk louder and expose this conversation to the class. ?So I masturbate, OK, are you happy?? he asked ?tut tut? she said looking down at his groin, ?How often do you jack off?? she asked ?Do you really????yes I want to know? she cut him off looking mischievous now?yeah about twice a day? he smiled It felt odd and slightly naughty talking about it in class and generally talking about it.?I used to date this guy? she whispered ?who used to steal my dildo and use it on himself when he was jacking off!? she continued ?I came through the door once when he had it fully inserted into his ass!? ?What so was he gay then?? Eric asked?Of course he wasn’t Eric!? she snapped ?Just because you enjoy anal pleasure doesn’t make you gay? she laughed ?I’m amazed at how many guys think.
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