At a traffic light you are oblivious to the elderly couple staring at you shocked as they see you beat the seat next to you with visible tears streaming. The last 10 minutes is you focusing the anger and the sorrow. You were gonna go out and get shit faced. Fuck some random girl! You neeeded to get away from this town. Everything reminded you of Susie, parks you walked in, resturants you ate in, bicycle rides, cinema trips, pub visits. As you arrive home, slamming your car door you phone your friend Richard from Uni. He was in your English lectures and was part of the cool clique. He asked you months ago if you were keen to come to a festival down near the Uni. At the time you said no as your whole summer was meant to be Susie. Richard picked up surpised that you were calling him. You explained the situation and asked if the offer for the festival was still up? Richard absolutly buzzing said they had a spare ticket as someone had to bail. You had saved some money for Susies birthday. Now, shall we proceed with the business in hand?”He began to undress, removing his cravat, jacket and shirt.“If you dare to lay one finger on me…” hissed Lady Jessica.“You’ll do what, exactly?” scoffed Lord Jasper. “You’re hardly in a position to negotiate, I think. I suggest you lie back and enjoy it.”By this time, he was down to his underwear. Lady Jessica was about to use some very unladylike language, when he pulled down his shorts and revealed something rather unexpected. Her mouth fell open, and she gaped in amazement.“Eager as ever, I see,” said Lord Jasper. “But it is rather impressive, isn’t it?”“It” was an enormous prosthetic phallus, strapped to Lord Jasper’s crotch. It seemed to be made of metal, constructed of a series of smooth, overlapping curved plates that allowed it to flex in a most realistic manner.“What in heaven’s name is that?” gasped Lady Jessica, intrigued despite herself. “Wasn’t your own appendage big enough for you? I did hear it was barely five.
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