With a nod from her mother, Ashley said grace. While she was thanking God for our food, I thanked God for my new family - two daughters, a son-in-law, and two wonderful grandchildren.For some reason, I couldn't go to sleep that night. I guess I had a lot on my mind. I thought back to that night that when Amy admitted that she was in love with Kevin and how she wanted to kill herself just like her mother did, shortly after her father divorced her mother. Amy was then forced to live with a father that really didn't want a child. That's more than any 14 year old should have to bare.I guess that's why I decided to adopt Amy shortly after Nick was killed. I knew with some love Amy could go very far. While adopting a grownup doesn't make much of a difference, it's one way to tell someone you love them without sex. My faith in my new daughter was rewarded when Amy graduated near the top of her class and decided to go back school and earn her MBA.For the last several years, she's been in. I stand there in the soft, yellow glow of the nightlight, squeezing and rubbing, letting myself into that special place i know and love so well, secretly hoping for a new sensation sometimes, dreaming of that as yet unfamiliar feeling that comes from fantasy. i look down, and with my other hand, pull the waistband away to look at myself. i shudder a little, watching myself tug on the hair that covers my mound. i love this, this place of pure sensation, teasing myself over into the place where pain can take over. i get to take myself there and sometimes i let katy take me there, too. i pull on the hair a little harder now and then let a finger into my dampening slit, just a little…not too much yet. i look up from my play and inadvertently catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror on the other side of the bed. at first, i am surprised, kind of forgetting it was there, but then i smile at this private moment, pressing deeper with my finger, letting out a soft moan. my other hand pulls.
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