She stand hugged me and asked me to hold. I hold her and bring her close to me. She looked at me and smile. She kept her hand on my hand n pressed my hand. I now shift my hand near her ass n hold her tight. She did not mind I guess and I felt that she is moving close to me. Now our body is touching each other. I felt her boobs touching my chest n I moved more close to her. She shifts her hand n place on my back and presses me more and now I feel her boobs pressing with me. I am feeling happy. I open up more n press her ass little. She looked n smiled. She was enjoying too.I asked, mom are u enjoying. Yes, dear I m enjoying with you. You are holding me nice. I will not fall in water. I will fall on you in case of big wave. We go little deep water n I asked her to sit. The water level was up to our neck. The water was silent now. I left my one hand from her ass n kept the hand on her leg. She kept her palm on my hand n pressing. Mom, you are looking beautiful n girl. I am happy that. But until you do I just don't know if I can look at you anymore and not see a slut."I looked at Lydia when I said that, and I could see the tears streaming down her face. She wasn't crying vocally but I could see in her eyes the deep wound and pain that I inflicted on her and I'm afraid I lost my composure. My own eyes filled with tears and I looked down and away at the floor because I didn't want her to see me cry and I thought to myself, 'My God, what am I doing? How can I be hurting this woman like this? This woman that I love so much, the mother of my children. I just don't have it in me.' And then I said aloud as I raised my head to look her in the eyes,"I'm sorry Lydia. I can't do this anymore. I don't really want to hurt you. I know you're not really a slut or a whore, and you're right, I was only trying to hurt you and make you feel the kind of pain I feel. I'm ashamed for that, but I'm confused Lydia. I've totally lost my bearings and I don't know what to do. Never in all my.
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