I finished knitting a jumper for Laura, she’ll need that this winter. It is so peaceful and quiet here right now, I can close my eyes and hear nothing after such a boisterous day. Bliss.”She turned each page carefully with the gentle sanctity they deserved. So captivating, that Joe knocked on the doorframe and laughed.“Joe!”“You looked so engrossed in it. Sorry Els, I didn’t mean to make you jump. Any chance of that brew now?”Still a little startled, she looked at the mantel clock over the hearth, two hours passed in reverent silence.She smiled, “Of course, take a seat.”She could feel it, that uncertain ease. Eloise leant back against the kitchen worktop as the rising growl of the electric kettle gathered pace to reach its crescendo. She observed how Joe quietly craned his neck to look at the open book. He shuffled a little in his chair to get comfortable. Tall and muscular in the real sense of the word, he earned it all through decades of hard graft. He was her first. "Ten," I said.Ten seconds later the roles had reversed. An ancient patent movement brought the bloke out of balance, another rolled him around and a third - applying pressure to both sides of his neck - rendered him unconscious. "If I keep pressing here for another few seconds, his last remaining brain cells will cease functioning and he will be dead," I said conversationally. "Now miss, would you kindly call the police?"She hastily flipped open her cell phone and I let go of the moron. While she was frantically calling the police in broken Spanish, I placed the bloke in recovery position and waited for him to come to. He did within a minute, as expected, and looked around wildly. "Lie still," I said, "and I won't hurt you. Move - and I will finish you off. Do you get me?" He nodded.The police arrived and the mayhem widened. None of the minders had good Spanish and even their English was pretty poor. I, on the other hand, spoke both languages fluently. The minders claimed they had.
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