We’re both thinking … we should just say hi and keep on walking, but we can’t take our eyes off each other. You just look great. I can’t speak for you but it feels just as if we had never stopped, all those feelings of longing, just rush back in and overwhelm us. There are a couple tables by the hot food counter and we stumble over there, we mumble a few meaningless nonsensical phrases. Mine is something like “wow you are a sight for sore eyes” We manage to sit down – somehow too close to each other and touching arms and noticing our feet are touching and then noticing our calves are touching. You’re wearing something low cut, wow, your body just oozing sexuality. Small talk “how are your daughters? An*** still painting? Ar***** still into science? When is she going to come to Emory to work with me? So you were out swing dancing.” That goes on for a few minutes until we are just looking at each other and we don’t seem to want to talk anymore. “Could you. Maybe it was just a mid-life crisis, but who the hell ever knows that when they're going through it. I just knew I felt alive when I was with her, when I saw the look on her face as I walked into her office.When I was with her, I could forget that Mary existed, that I had been married for more than half my life, that there would never be the excitement of that first time again, that I would never be young again.As long as I didn't fuck her, as long as I didn't slide my dick between those long lovely legs of hers it wasn't real, it didn't count! I know that is crazy. Maybe that's why they call it middle-aged crazy. It was all just fantasies, that's all it was.But if Mary was telling the truth, the truth I'd never known for all those years, Elaine hadn't realized it was all just a middle-aged man's fantasy. She had thought it was real. That's why she had never called me again after that phone call to her telling her I couldn't go forward. That was why she hadn't been in her office the.
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