.." she says, "is... is that happy crying?" Yes, dummy!" I reply, surprised and teary, "You think I wanted the world to end?!" I don't know," she says, so softly, looking into my eyes with such sadness. "Didn't you?"I just stare at her. Of course I didn't! And yet... this life, this world... it has been my Hell for so long. Somewhere deep inside, maybe I did want it all to just end. I've tried to hide my pain from my friends, but they know. They've always known. And Dawn most of all. She thought I didn't want her. And all along she was the only thing I did want."Dawn..." I whisper, "I'm so sorry... I'm sorry..." I rise and take this amazing creature into my arms. She needs so much love. And somehow, after everything that's happened, I still have so much love to give.I denied it from the very start. Wouldn't let myself think it. Eventually I couldn't deny it, and I blamed myself. Then I blamed the monks, for making me feel this way. And then, when the end came, and Glory took my Dawn. Her hair was in a bob cut, rather modern and attractively styled and was mostly snowy white with some streaks of grey-black, her face was quite pleasant and she had a friendly confident smile. Since I too am from Kerala our conversation was in Malayalam and we quickly got through the pleasantries and got down to business. Sheela shut the windows, drew the curtains and spread a plastic sheet on the mattress and left with a smile saying “I won’t disturb you for an hour”.I opened my bag, took out the special Almond Oil and Mahanarayan Oil which is for muscle and joint pains. I also took out my briefs that I use when giving a massage. Meanwhile Lata too was getting ready without any fuss she was down to her panties and had covered her upper body with a towel and she lay face down on the mattress. The fan was on at a gentle speed and I had also lit up two aromatic candles. I heated the oils on the candle flame and commenced the massage.Lata told me that she wanted me to be firm on her.
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