I am almost hyperventilating. I catch my breath and decide I am not ready for that yet. I don't have the guts to do it. I jump when I hear Nick knocking on the door. "You okay in there honey?" "Yes, I'm fine." Suddenly I realize he called me honey. I open the door and lay a big kiss on his lips. He kisses me back and holds me close. "Do you trust me?" I ask. "Yes I trust you." He says looking a bit confused. "Do you love me Nick?" I ask. "I have been waiting to tell you that for a while. Yes I love you Darling." Nick and I fall into the bed. "Lets call in sick today." He says. "I would love to, but year end reports are due. I know Shelly can handle it, but I have to be there for her." I stop and review what I just said. I trust Shelly to be in the office alone, but need to be there for her. When did that all change. Nick lets out a sigh. "Okay, Soon thought we need to take a vacation from work together and go someplace." I nod and grab his arm and drag him to the shower. I finally. An unwanted and terrible flashback pounces and I suddenly think of my father who spat the same brand onto my face and spanked me with beer bottles. My eyes are closed as I try to guard them from the brown goo that begins to slide over my brow onto my eyelids. The car door slams but I don’t dare to open my eyes. The blinding burn of the tobacco will only hinder my escape if escape is even possible. The hinges of the passenger door croak and the rush of summer air hits me. Tightly gripping my upper arm, he tosses me from the seat. I faceplant unto the mud feeling grit and rocks cutting into my stomach and bruising my chest. “You better keep your face in the mud bitch… you ain’t nothing but pigshit in this world,” He laughs softly, his zipper loud as he travels down his crotch. “Fucking whore.”Blue lights flicker and bounce of the trees. Tires slide and rumble across the ground close to us headlights pouring over us. Squealing breaks sound and the engine is cut. My heart soars as I.
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