But it was only with him. I fucked him a couple of times a week for the past seven months. Once I started I couldn’t stop. I just couldn’t walk away.”“Well you need to walk away now...” I looked out one of the front windows. “ ... and you should head out the back door. Janey just drove into the driveway.”Steve was trying to put up a defense.“Steve are you out of your mind? No, we won’t work this out.” Susan said in a calm tone of voice.“But Susan, she came on to me and just wouldn’t back off.”“She did, did she?”“Yes,” Steve said trying to sound honest.“What about Renee?”“Renee?” Oh oh.“And Barbara?”“Barbara?” Oh boy.“And Robert?”Steve fell back and dropped into the front porch swing. She knew about Robert.“I know about a few more. But after Robert, I figured there was no need to go on.” Susan said.We were sitting in our living room.“Janey. JJ. Your mom has asked me to try to overlook this whole thing and try to get back together,” John told his daughter and son.“Really? What do you. I continued on, "I'm doing well. Thank you." And, with that brief exchange, we had passed one another. I am ashamed to admit this, but I do not recall anything about the rest of my walk or the short drive home.My normal routine is to do my walk and then come home and shower but on Saturday, I showered first. As I stood in the shower thinking about the young man; I kept telling myself what a silly old woman I was and what did I think I was trying to prove. I thought to myself just because he smiled at me and said good morning was not some sign he found me interesting or desired me, but I kept on fixing myself up anyway.I don't know if I was too early or exactly why, but I didn't see him that day nor on my Sunday walk either. I was a bit surprised with myself at how disappointed I was all day Sunday after not seeing him for two days. I found it strange after only seeing him 3 times, he would have affected me so much and I would feel so down.Monday dawned grey and gloomy. Those who live.
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