But I was just -- y'know -- happy to be here, and didn't really question it. Anyway, it was working! Paul seemed to be right, the way he was handling me." It's maybe one of those 'be careful what you ask for' situations," Maria said."Yeah. But I just don't understand it. On the one hand, I was happy -- at the time -- to be allowed to stay in. Sure, I was surprised, but -- happy. On the other hand, I still don't get why Paul did it. I just hope it didn't have something to do with you and me. --Maybe, unconsciously, Paul took our relationship into account." Can't see it," Maria said."How do you mean?" We both know that, for Paul, the team comes first. He's not going to be deterred by personal considerations. He's going to do whatever he can to assure that the Orioles win. I can't believe, even for a minute, that he took anything else into account." Maybe I ought to ask him." It might not be something he'll be able to articulate. Even a by-the-book manager like Paul will play a hunch. I had even seen a dildo and a rubber ring and condoms lying in a box. From the age of 12 I had masturbated frequently and I used to borrow books and magazines from my fathers cupboard during my sessions. But as is not uncommon in India, I was a virgin and had never even dated a girl. It started when I was 17. I was in 11th grade and I was living at this point of time in a middle sized town in India. My brother had left to college, so I was living alone with my dad. A new maid called jayamma had just joined our household and used to live in what was called the servant quarters, A small room outide the house in the backyard. She was in her early forties, a widow with two children. Her elder son had left to the middle east to work there and the younger daughter was working as nurse in a nearby town and used to come to vist her mother once in a month.She was not very attractive, a middle aged women , around 40, slighly overweight, with slightly rough and darkened skin. She had worked.
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