By the time Christmas Eve came round a couple of weeks later I'd gone backto my job as I was still behind with the rent and really needed the money,only too grateful that I'd still been on full pay throughout. And eventhough my life was still at its lowest ebb, I was determined to be thevery last to leave the forthcoming annual office party because I somehowsensed that Siobhan would definitely be there in spirit with me as well.I did feel a little better for going afterwards even though I hardly spoketo anyone as I knew they must all know by now who I was and deliberatelyleft me alone. Then finally with one last long unhappy look around theempty room full of Christmas wrappers, streamers and empty wine bottlesheaded straight for the nearest pub.I seem to remember leaving sometime after 11 definitely very drunk andsoon soaked to the skin in the driving rain, too content to just wanderthe cold dark streets alone which only made things worse.Suddenly I felt a warm draft of air coming out. I hope you won’t find me terribly boring to interject that in all honesty I am not quite certain about that answer at all.It is true that in my university days I had been known to drink adult beverages to excess and I had bent over like a submissive twat for some real macho jerks that just saw me as a clueless cunt with a nice bum. I still went to church on Sunday as regular as clockwork and I did all my courses with success without resorting to getting down on my knees for the lecturers in order to get a passing grade. I had deduced that many of the young females in university did exactly that with the expectation that it would be overlooked in later life.My parents were satisfied that I had never caused them any embarrassment or presented a danger to their social standing.Still, I have to admit that I had this internal itch for dangerous situations that brought me to the edge of trouble even if I was not really in the middle of some scandal or other dodgy scenario like one reads.
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