Just a little higher," I muttered under my breath as I watched this familiar frame groom trees on the grounds of my office. He didn't get this gig until after our relationship ended and it's been good to still see him around. It does my heart good to see him and know he's doing well. Our intentional run-ins and small talk are good for my soul. However, our pairing was quite the opposite. Rewind time thirteen years to the summer after I graduated from high school. I fell into the bed of my friend Amy's brother, knowing he wouldn't be coming home. I had drank entirely too much and the party outside was still going strong. I was crashing here tonight and this was the safest place for me. The bed smelled of her brother Garrett and I found myself hugging his pillow closely. Garrett was supposed to be on a fishing trip with friends, but for some reason plans had changed. I was woken up abruptly by a solid shirtless body falling hard on top of me. We both jumped out of the bed quickly. I. Actually there are a LOT of old saying in the muscle-bound barbarian hero business. This is mostly because the average muscle-bound barbarian can't read. And so an oral tradition is necessary. (Although if asked, most muscle-bound barbarians would think that an oral tradition is something that pleasure slaves are trained to do.)Anyway, the saying pertinent to this part of our story is this: "Never, ever give a witch, wizard, or sorcerer an even break. 3 feet of steel through the gizzard will mess up any spell they are trying to cast on you at the time."In Gonad The Ballbarian's case, this was a little too long for him to remember. So his teachers simplified things for him. "If you see someone trying to cast a spell on you, kill him her or it."Gonad had wandered away from the city a week ago, and he was very bored. In a whole week, he hadn't seen any monsters, demons, wizards or even a thief. For that matter, he hadn't even seen any luscious tavern wenches or beautiful pleasure slaves.
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