You haven’t even had a drink today yet. And it sure as fuck-all wasn’t that nasty bran concoction you had for breakfast. On your salary you eat sawdust for breakfast? Fuck, eat a good breakfast and spend five more minutes on the damn elliptical.”She waved her hand and JoAnne found she could speak again. “Look if you want an apology...”The Elf cut her off again “It wouldn’t be sincere and you wouldn’t learn a god damn thing. Don’t bullshit me, Baby, I’m a whole lot older than I look. Besides, I have your file.”She leaned back, reached two fingers into her ample cleavage and pulled out an ornate, gilt edged scroll, untied it and began to read over it: “Let’s see ... JoAnne Steadmann, age 32. No personal relationships. Wow, that sucks. You seem to have a severe case of Greed, brought on by a Self-Centered Nature and a Lack of Human Empathy, which seems to have developed around puberty...” Her voice trailed off as she read more.Then: “Damn!? You’re Frigid? No Orgasms? No wonder you’re a. And your lovely lady doesn’t even mind in the least if you gawk.’ ‘Paintings! Not even fuckin’ close to what I thought we were going to go do today. A fuckin’ art museum? Ouff!’ The breath when out of him as Marcie punched him in the ribs. ‘Honey bunny, shut up or the next naked woman you see will be in a National Geographic.’ All of five foot nothing, the little firebrand stood toe-to-toe with the big jamook she was dating. ‘I’ll hack your computer so the parental controls are locked forever, I’ll burn your porn collection and then I’ll go buy me a nice, wonderfully-warm, flannel nightgown to sleep in. Just like the ones your mom wears.’ Turning my face into Cathy’s hair, I chuckled. I could feel her laughing quietly next to me. Mary Kay piped in from where she was holding Steve’s hand. ‘Oh, I know just the place to shop for those. They have one in the loveliest shade of piglet pink.’ I couldn’t keep the smile off my face as I saw James actually retch, his mortal dislike for.
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