Jess what’s wrong, I said and she keep crying so I asked again. What wrong? Robbie she said slowly I have all these weird feeling and I think I may be a lesbian. Jess, your not a lesbian. No Robbie you don’t understand, when I found those playboys I used them to you know, I well, you know. Jess just because you look at girls and masturbate to them doesn’t mean you’re a lesbian. You’re just a little confused. You can’t be a lesbian Jess because. Because what? I, I love you and you just can’t be a lesbian I wanted you when we first met in first grade. When we talked at lunch in the 9th I always wanted you and loved you. And I still do.Jess, looked at me in shock. Then kissed me again, she said in a low shaky voice; and I loved you. See got into my bed and hugged me. She started to fool around and pinch my nipples and glide her finger through my hair. I looked at her in all of her glory as if she was an angel sent from above heaven and poured like water into the cup of my life. As I. It was sometime during that second Gorilla Killers that she began asking me questions about the guys she’d been dating.“I don’t understand. Just when you’d think they’d want to, oh, you know, they stop for a cigarette or something. Not that I’d go that far, you understand, but they won’t make a move. Look, you know most of the guys I’ve dated and you’ve been around. Is it something about me?”Before I could answer she changed subjects, sorta. “Did you know I take birth control pills?” That wasn’t exactly the question I’d been expecting. Not being sure what to say, I just shook my head. “Well, I do. I started my senior year in high school. I’d always had a problem with my, uh, cycles and all that. The pills work great, and the doctor says they’re why I grew out of training bras.”We both laughed. But I wondered about her problem with guys. Thanks to that beatific face, and maybe her always having been quiet and shy, she’d gotten a reputation. But in her case, it was as a “good” girl..
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