The moment my eyes open, they're gone, the details drifting away. But I'm left with the negative feelings.This morning, for the first time in several days, I had the freedom to wake up on my schedule, in my own way. My eyes fluttered open, the last vestiges of my nightmares scurrying back into the dark.What am I supposed to be doing? How late is it? Where am I supposed to be?The relief upon realizing that life was back to normal, that I my days would return to the routine I craved, calmed me almost immediately. I indulged in stretching and blinking, checking my phone and then putting it down and dozing.Until I heard the creak of the door. There he was, my boyfriend, always so close but in the past week of upended schedules, long days, and sleepless nights, I'd missed him. I croaked out a good morning in a disused, rusty voice.He'd missed me, too. The bed shifted as he quickly crawled in with me. I settled against him, happy to be close, prepared for the fucking we'd neglected for. .and finally the winner of the lightweight competition...Sasha Mikaelova!", the speaker roared in the mic, rising my hand. Before me, some flashing lights shone from the crowd, capturing forever that moment. My GI was open, disclosing my fit body and the orange sport bra that I was wearig. I smiled confidently to the cameras. On my side, the boy that I had just defeated in the State's white belts jiu jitsu tournament was visibly less happy. I didn't remember his name and I didn't care. He'd been good, better than many disputants of that tournament, but not on my same level. "Yeeah! Congrats!" a cheerful voice sounded nearby "I knew that you would have kicked asses today!". Turning around I saw my girlfriend Marika. She was another contestant of that competition. Just few hours before, I had esily (and gently) defeated her on the tatami with a soft headlock. She was one year older than me but less experienced, having started jiu jitsu only recently. I was, on the opposite, a tough.
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