I worried, some, about that. Sam was reliable and he'd won 21 games for us in the regular season -- same as Shiggie.But Sam didn't throw hard, and I always felt a little less secure when he was our pitcher. By now, I guess I should have had a little faith. Well, I did have faith! I'd seen him win all 21 of those games! There'd even been a couple more he'd lost that he shouldn't have.Didn't matter. It was still just -- scarier -- when Sam was pitching. He almost never struck anyone out. He coaxed a lot of ground balls out of the opposition's offense, which was great in July, but not-so-great in late, late October, when infielders' hands were cold and the wind blew hot dog wrappers around in the outfield, distracting our defense. (The hot dog wrappers were worse at Shea than in Baltimore. I don't know why. Maybe New Yorkers are just bigger slobs than the folks in Bal'mer.)It's just a theory. I don't have any evidence to back it up.After Alice and I had gotten back to Baltimore on our. The ‘friend’ used it, used her, abused her tender, aching heart until her strength was gone. she no longer cared. she wanted to disappear. she didn’t want to talk to any other admirers. They would never match up to what He was in her mind. she hid from friend and foe alike, banishing the ‘friend’ who had sucked all her strength from her body. she was a pitiful shell of a body. her arms wrapped around herself, holding herself as the pain ripped through her heart and soul, quietly, alone. The few friends who sought her out, meant well, but the pain radiated through her body. she fought the desire to give up, fought to hold on to her sanity. she tried to heal to move on, to regain her strength, and she made a good show of it, but in her heart she knew she hadn’t. It was a show for the others to see. she felt and saw herself withdrawing from friends. she felt the gates closing in around her heart, locking out the feelings, the tenderness, the very depth of who she was. her body ached.
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