Meanwhile, Jeanette would be growing closer to them, to the point where she is considering leaving Turogg, or figuring out a way to make it all work. Then when it is revealed there will be a much bigger impact. I also should have arranged for it to happen sooner, so it’s not all resolved in a single chapter. One of the improvements that Rebellion had was multiple POVs and stories. However, as I learned, it was hard to move the plot forward enough when cramming three stories into one chapter. The way I did the last few chapters is how I am going to try and write from now on, an entire chapter revolving on one character. That being said, I’m going to scale back Elfish Descent to just two POVs, and they are going to follow one main storyline, while each will have its own side stories and plots. Along a similar line, the pacing was way off in the beginning of the story. Susannah’s chapters went too slow, and Cindy’s chapters went too fast. I should have better balanced out the Rebellion. Dawn had known more than one lesbian in college and was well aware that they, like all people, came in a great variety of sizes, shapes and styles. This one though, practically screamed testosterone at her. About five-ten and solidly built, she wore cammie pants and a baggy tan shirt along with what looked to be desert boots. "Maybe you'd like to come over to the private booth that my girlfriend and I have reserved." The butch female pointed towards the back wall, where a matching specimen was waving and pulling on a set of curtains that apparently closed around the booth. "No, thank you," stammered Dawn. The other woman's grip tightened and she seemed amused by Dawn's confusion and her lack of response. "Back off, Delaney," came another voice. Dawn looked to see someone she assumed was one of the female bouncers standing by them, her arms folded under her breasts. It surprised Dawn that the woman, although showing signs of a lot of working out, looked remarkably feminine. Her.
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