The merry lights of their houses shone through my icy windows and illuminated my world of greys. As the myriad of colors danced, my eyes remained blank and unmoving. The sweet treats of the holiday that I used to crave now leaves nothing but bitter after taste in my tongue. Even the warm tea that used to soothe my soul now makes me sick just by its scent alone. Everything that used to define who I am started to lose its meaning. Like the gyrating clockwork, I relearned the ways of the lifestyle that entertains no question. Little by little, I changed and I can do nothing but watch as how I began to close myself from the world that pains me so. Mortified by the fear of seeing the image of the girl whom I betrayed, I distanced myself from the ones I used to share a connection with. The conversation that I used to share nonchalantly was reduced into a few words spoken out of necessity. By the time my colleges noticed my growing cold, I was already severed from society. All to appease. 'What about you Mr Ladrup', he turned to look at her, 'What's that dear', he retorted, 'Do you like young girls or older women?'He flashed a look at me then her, 'I like them young', he replied honestly, 'But I never had any luck in catching them', he laughed, and we joined-in, but I could not help myself seeing him lick his fat wet lips, he was overly salivating at some deep thought, as his eyes rolled across her nimble form, 'Well', she replied, 'I cant run far in this room', and his face went straight, suddenly this prized piece of meat in the shape of my daughter was openly challenging him, 'You need to watch out Lars, my girl is hot to trot', then I realized we were degenerating into a sordid scenario, myself and this old friend of my husband, were discussing the merits of sex and my daughter was caught up in the excitement, eagerly participating and teasing, should I put a stop to it or let her continue her training, the feeling in the pit of my stomach was one of debauchery.If.
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