Tears on my neck.Arms around me.A hand in mine resting on my chest.I turned my head to see Kendi, her eyes bright red and soaking wet with tears. I began to turn towards her.“Don’t turn.”I stopped.“You hurt me.”“I’m sorry.”“Are you?”“I am.”“I love you.”I didn’t speak.A long pause.“Kendi?”“Yes.”“About Jean.”“Yes.”“She was my first. I loved her with everything I had. She stopped loving me, but I couldn’t stop loving her. I still can’t.”“That is not love.”“Maybe not anymore. But how can I tell someone I love them if there is already another woman?”“There isn’t another woman.”“There is.”“Nope! Mick, you show me that woman and I will rip her lungs out.”“She is not here.”“Right, Mick! I am.”Another long pause.“I knew she didn’t love me for almost a year.”“Really?”“I noticed that when I said, ‘I love you’ she stopped saying ‘I love you too’ and began to say, ‘I know you do’.”“So why hold on?”“I don’t know. I took a vow.”“She broke them.”“I just can’t walk away from my feelings.”“Your. I was getting used to being with Jim. That was a bit of a surprise to me, actually. I never really thought that I'd ever be "with" a guy.Jim was sleeping soundly--if I put my ear near his chest, I could almost hear him softly snoring--and he looked like an angel. I raised the sheet a bit to look underneath, and smiled at my now naked angel. When Jim's body gave an involuntary shiver, I quietly put the sheet back down.I got up and went to the bathroom. I saw the new toothbrush that Wendy and Jim picked out at the supermarket, and I giggled before selecting Jim's own toothbrush. I took a quick pee, and then quickly moved through the bedroom and into the hallway.As I passed the bedroom where Wendy was, I heard her voice whisper, "Shirl?" Yeah?" Let's go downstairs and talk."We talked. It was nearly 3:30 in the morning when we got downstairs, and we talked for about two hours.Wendy thought I was trying to move too fast with Jim."Where is the old Shirley I used to know?" Wendy asked. "You.
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